It's been a while. Lost all motivation to write through the most confusing passage, sorry about that. Mostly frustration that I couldn't express myself in anyway again. Basically stuck. A lot of worrying and anticipation thinking far, far into the future and basically being very un-realistic. All I could think about was how bad things would go if I gave up and how an earth I would cope with everything. But, I did think it could only get worse or better and I chose better, on the offchance it might work. After my last blog, I got myself admitted to detox, I stayed there for 3 weeks, and cleaned up on everything, bar one drug that I have to slowly reduce on.
Headaches and aches in general gone. !!!!!!!! Cloudy head, clearing up. Energy? On it's way up... un-realistic ideas and crazy goals, calming down... reality setting in. Bit of depression. Feeling stronger, and life is making more sense. You can't take back what you have already done... but you can make a new start and be realistic, use what you have, try to hang out with people that like to do things, if someone aks you for a coffee go for it. Lying around feeling depressed is so hard that it's easy. It's harder to make an effort and get out there. But every little seems to help. I even just found out... that, guess what? You can even have a laugh, straight! Cheers to that;) So, if anyone is reading this... good luck, it's feeling way better (even though a little bit crap and hard, the good times are increasing...
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